J-Bang Reviews Present: Doctor Strange

Fun in a whole new Dimension. Yet again, Marvel Studios releases another superhero movie, and yet again, Marvel has made another Home Run. "Doctor Strange" follows renowned surgeon, Dr. Stephen Strange. He is as arrogant as he is witty, but when car accident takes away his ability to use his hands, he is fired from his job and begins a downward spiral into constant failure. That is...until he travels to Nepal and learns a supernatural way of repairing his hands.

First things first, Benedict Cumberbatch is PHENOMENAL as Stephen Strange. He brings a charm that only Cumberbatch could have delivered, and for a British born actor, the American accent he got is SPOT-ON too. Oh, and DEAR LORD, the special effects are INSANE! There is only one way to watch this movie, and the 3 to the F*^king D!!! I haven't seen special effects this good in a movie since Inception. Cities get turned upside down, fiery whips spark all over the place, and colors splash all over the screen from dimension to dimension.

Although a great film, it does have one minor problem: The villain. Since Marvel movies are usually about the hero themselves, I don't expect the villains to be show-stealers, especially in an origin story but Kaecilius wasn't anything special. He was actually quite generic in my opinion. Mads Mikkelsen played the hell of the role, there's no denying that, but the script didn't really give him much to work with, especially since there are multiple villains in the movie. He was really fun to have with action scenes but other than that, he pretty forgettable.

Other than the villain, Marvel Studios yet again delivers another fun action, adventure film with both the Heart and Humor Marvel Studios are known and loved for. In an effort to introduce the world to a new kind of superhero, Marvel Studios simultaneously delivers a film that feels different and less-formulaic from all the other superhero films. "Doctor Strange" gets a J-Bangin score of 4 out of 5!

J-Bang Reviews Present: War Dogs

"War Dogs" or what I like to call "Diet Wolf of Wallstreet" stars Miles Teller as David Parkouz and Jonah Hill as Efraim Diveroli, two arms dealers hired by the United States government to supply the U. S. army with guns and ammunition. Of course, when a bad deal is made, sh*t spirals out of control and so begins the downfall of the two friends. I watched this movie from start to finish, and honestly, I will say...it wasn't "bad," but it didn't "THRILL" me it either. I'll explain more.

The movie is complimented by strong performances from the small cast, but the one that stood out the most for me is Jonah Hill's Efraim Diveroli. Although, Jonah Hill evidently is the comic relief of the film, Hill also serves as the ambitious hustler that ends up being corrupted most by the money made off the war profiteering. Hill showcases both the light and dark side of his character through his efficient acting, and "War Dogs" is better for it. Miles Teller is cool too...it's just Hill was that much better.

The problem I do have with this movie however is the pacing. The tone is more serious and dramatic than it is comedic, and throughout the runtime, there were moments where I even found myself bored. It wasn't until Bradley Cooper's Henry Girard enters the fray where I found myself intrigue in the story line again, which gets a little better once a clear conflict has been introduced.

"War Dogs" is mostly a character driven story that showcases the rise and fall of two very ambitious arms dealers, but as their journey is showcased to us, the tale ultimately feels shallow rather than inspiring. The story is interesting for those who are into "biopic-like crime dramas" but for me, it's pretty forgettable. In other words, it wasn't bad, it was just...sort of... "okay." "War Dogs" gets a score of 3.2 out of 5.

J-Bang Reviews Presents: Sausage Party (Rated-R Edition)

JESUS F#*KING CHRIST! There is literally NO LINE this movie won't cross! Brought to us by the stoner mind of Seth Rogen, "Sausage Party" tells the tasteful tale of a hot dog finding out the truth about the existence of food. As far as I know, "Sausage Party" is the first Rated R cartoon comedy to come out in theaters since the 90s, and the writers do everything in their power to make sure everyone who watches it knows that this movie is NOT FOR KIDS! Seriously, if you are a parent and think it's a good idea to take your 4 year old kid to see this film, I will officially nominate you for the campaign of 2016's "Bad Parent of the Year" award.

Aside from the hilariously raunchy jokes, AND THERE ARE A SHIT-LOAD, "Sausage Party" does end up delivering the promise of an original story that somehow correlates to a metaphor of religion and the system of belief. No character feels one dimensional, and practically all the main characters have a moment that feels more than deserved. Plus, even though everyone is practically a piece of food, the superb voice acting supplied by a cast head-lined by Seth Rogen, Kristen Wigg, Michael Cera, Edward Norton, and Nick Kroll help somewhat "humanize" this bizarre cast of characters. The best advice I can give for this animated fuck-fest is GO SEE IT for yourself! But I must warn you, like the talking Twinkie says, "Once you see that shit...IT WILL FUCK YOU UP FOR LIFE!" I'm giving one of my favorite movies of the year a J-Bangin score of 4.5 out of 5! "Sausage Party" guaran-freaking-tees a fun time at the movies...if you got the stomach for it that is! 

J-Bang Reviews Present: Suicide Squad

Bruh. If you are planning to go see Suicide Squad, don't even bother man. Starring Will Smith, Margot Robbie, and (supposedly) Jared Leto, Suicide Squad marks the first super-villain led team up comic book movie, and even though it has a couple of highlights, the whole film ends up being a convoluted mess that can't decide what tone it wants to be.

Honesty, if I knew how to describe the plot of the movie to you, I would, BUT the funny thing is...I can't even find the plot of this film. Basically, Amanda Waller, played by Viola Davis, convinces the government to give her permission to create a team full of super-villains, that can perform black ops missions that involve other super-villains. One of my main complaints of this film is that everything...kinda, sort of...just.....happens. The whole story revolves around just ONE mission, and throughout the movie, characters give out clunky dialogue that is nowhere close to being cohesive with the pacing of the film. And out of the six members of the Suicide Squad, only Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn and Will Smith's Deadshot get the most exposure. With Harley and Deadshot taking up the most of screen time, we never really get the chance to care about the other characters. So when the movie is nearly over, and El Diablo and Harley Quinn starts spitting out motivational speeches about friendship, it feels forced and undeserved. Now don't get me wrong, Harley Quinn is one of the best characters to come out of this movie, and all her scenes with Jared Leto's Joker are surprisingly intense and end up being the best scenes of the film, but without screen time being equally shared among other characters, I begin to not give a shit when the other members of Suicide Squad begin to have a "moment." And the moment this movie TRULY shot itself in the foot was when they KILLED OFF the Joker!!!!!

Lol, JK,the Joker doesn't die, but it sure as hell felt like he did. Jared Leto was doing a great job of the Joker, but truly, ended up feeling like a minor distraction for the main characters of the film, instead of an actual adversary. The REAL adversary was just stupid and resulted in what I thought was a very lazy "Transformer-esque" final battle. Quite frankly, I rather this film had more Jared Leto, than more Will Smith, because it was evident and obvious through the editing that half of his scenes were cut out. I wasn't really into Deadshot's story arc throughout the movie and apparently, most of his lines felt forced instead of natural. 

Besides the visual effects and the stellar acting of Jared Leto and Margot Robbie, "Suicide Squad" tells a story worthy of being thrown in the TRASH. It provides plenty of goofy moments (not in a good way) that I'm sure Joel Schumacher would be proud of and ends up feeling light and underwhelming rather than a hefty, compelling action flick. Watching "Suicide Squad" is just as fun as watching a car accident.....and after watching the travesties that were "Man of Steel," and "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice" (which I initially thought wasn't THAT bad) "Suicide Squad has OFFICIALLY made me done with watching the DC Extended Universe. "Suicide Squad" gets a 2.5 out of 5.

 

J-Bang Reviews Present: The Shallows

The Shallows, or I like to call it "The Revenant with a shark," stars Blake Lively as a surfer girl named Nancy, who happens to go to Med school and has a mother who died of cancer. But enough of the exposition. When Nancy goes surfing alone, she is attacked and severely injured by a Great White Shark and it is up to her to find a way back to shore without getting eaten alive.

After finishing my initial viewing of "The Shallows," I have come to the conclusion that it is a very tense psychological thriller that is WORTH the price of admission. Blake Lively proves that she is more than just a pretty face (and a hot body) and showcases her acting skills by virtually carrying a film all by herself. She portrays a protagonist that we can root for while her antagonist (the shark) proves to be especially sinister in its approach. To my surprise, the shark looked convincingly realistic, which is rare now a days with the over-reliance of CGI in the film industry. Plus, rather than being a "dumb eating machine," the shark showcases its own sense of determination in trying to eat Nancy as opposed to Nancy trying to escape the shark. Both play off each other's actions very well.

Just like "the Revenant," the Shallows does take a moment to give screen time to the nature and beauty that surrounds the situation ensuing between Nancy and the shark. Numerous money shots include a swarm of jelly fish, vibrant coral reefs and the sandy beaches of... well, who knows, they never really give the beach a name. Apparently, "it's a secret." The visual effects help create a stunning yet terrifying atmosphere that helps put the audience into the movie along with Blake Lively. And who doesn't want to be alongside Blake Lively? I mean...honestly?! Plus, I give huge props to the creators and writers of this film for just giving the movie a simple plot. "Girl gets attacked by shark. Girl is stranded and has no help. Girl must out-think and fight shark in order to survive." That's It. For a movie that is an hour and a half long, the simple plot helps moves things pretty quickly and prevents itself from dragging on and getting dull.

But the real question is "Does she survive?!" Go see the movie and find out for yourself. "The Shallows" gets a score of 4.2 out of 5. HAPPY SHARK WEEK!

J-Bang Reviews Present: X-Men: Apocalypse

X-Men: Apocalypse is the third film in the rebooted "X-Men" franchise, starring James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, and Jennifer Lawrence. Now before we get started, I originally wanted to do a "Spoiler Free" review, but...Let's just say there's some bullshit that I just can't ignore. Anyway, let's get started!

The plot of X-Men: Apocalypse goes like this: After being buried in his tomb for centuries, Apocalypse, played by Oscar Isaac, awakens in the 1980s, where he plans to take over the world he once ruled. Aware of his attentions, it's up to a team of X-Men, led by Mystique, played by Jennifer Lawrence, to stop Apocalypse and his allies, Psylocke (Olivia Munn), Storm (Alexandra Shipp), Archangel (Ben Hardy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender). First, let me start with the "Pros." Evan Peters and Michael Fassbender deliver the most "Note-worthy" performances of this film. Now, that's not to say everyone was bad, that's just me saying I liked them more than other. Professor X is still charming, Nightcrawler is funny where it counts, and Cyclops gets more exposure in this film, than his previous incarnations. But Quicksilver is easily the most entertaining character of the movie, whereas Magneto is the most tragic and sympathetic. The best scenes come from them both, with the exception of the disturbingly awesome cameo of Hugh Jackman's Wolverine. I say "disturbing" because it's surprisingly gory. People are stabbed and blood is splattered. It almost feels like watching a horror movie when Wolverine pops in. 

"The Cons" has a heavy impact on this movie however. For starters, Apocalypse himself, is a let down. It really feels like he does nothing to deserve all the street cred his has. He is equipped with multiple powers, such as the ability to teleport, change the shape of matter, and enhance the power of other mutants. Yet, all the destruction that is caused in the movie is caused by the Four Horsemen, rather than Apocalypse himself. And I must say, Apocalypse is kind of stupid in terms of his execution of his plan. There's a scene in the movie where he uses Charles Xavier's telepathy to force all the countries to launch their nukes into the air. If he wants to destroy humans and leave the word for the strongest to survive, why not nuke the Earth instead of lunch them into space to do nothing? Quite frankly, it was unnecessary as hell. And speaking of unnecessary, during the final fight, there's a "mind-battle," between Apocalypse and Charles Xavier. The thing that pissed me off about this scene was the fact that "It wasn't real." and it kept interfering with the real fight. Watching it in theaters kind of made me wish the director had just left that scene out. 

Compared to all the other superhero films that debuted this year, X-Men Apocalypse ultimately has nothing new to offer the Superhero genre. It's a long movie but instead of feeling overstuffed, it felt like it was leaving alot out. All in all, instead of being "Amazing" or "Terrible," X-Men: Apocalypse, just feels like it's "...okay."  X-Men: Apocalypse gets a score of 3.2 out of 5.

J-Bang Reviews Present: Captain America: Civil War

Do yourself a favor and GO SEE THIS MOVIE IMMEDIATELY! "Captain America: Civil War" is an emotional thrill ride with the best hand-to-hand combat I have EVER seen in a Superhero movie and has one of the most smart-complex plots of any Marvel film. With everything against it, this film somehow ends up being better than even the best of Marvel films, including its predecessor, "Captain America: the Winter Soldier."

The plot of Civil War isn't your average "Hero vs. Villain" story. After all the damage the Avengers have caused saving people over the years, they are finally called out by the government and are forced to negotiate the terms of their heroism. They are presented with a bill called the "Sokovia Accords," which gives the United Nations the authority to regulate whether the Avengers should or should not intervene in international incidents. This, of course, divides the Avengers, where Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr,) believes signing the bill is the responsible thing to do, Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) believes it is the opposite.This ultimately leads to fighting and betrayals among the Avengers themselves.

For a film that's two and a half hours long, it certainly doesn't feel long or exhausting. Unlike "Age of Ultron," the action is well spaced out and the in-between minutes are full of great character moments. Like I said before, the action is AWESOME, and quite frankly, so brutal that it will have you jumping out of your seats from time to time. And although it is a dark film, hell, ever darker than "Captain America: the Winter Soldier," it still has an impressive amount of humor. Not as much as "Age of Ultron," but it just enough to keep the tone serious. Oh, and the characters! Each characters' motivations are made clear throughout the movie and each character has their moment to shine, especially Captain America himself. But just to let you know, don't be surprised if Black Panther or Spider-Man end up stealing the show. Oh, and just for the record, Civil War has one of the best villains in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

"Captain America: Civil War" is a PERSONAL, PERSONAL tale full of action, mystery, and heartbreak, especially for the "more than casual" Marvel fan, where by the time the credits start to roll, you will start to question whether Captain America or Iron Man was in the right, "Captain America: Civil War" gets a J-Bangin score of 5 out of 5!

J-Bang Reviews Present: Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

Or should I call it "Batman: Featuring Superman: Dawn of Justice," because this is pretty much a Batman movie. After the events that occurred in "Man of Steel," Clark Kent must wrestle with the fact that although he saves people around the world as Superman, he is also considered to be a threat by people themselves. One of those people, just so happen to be Bruce Wayne a.k.a Batman. When disaster strikes, Batman takes it upon himself to deal with the "threat" that is Superman.

So let me get straight to the point. Surprisingly, I thought the movie was pretty good. Not "great," but "pretty good." Ben Affleck is great as Batman. In his performance, he added a certain element of sympathy to the character as well as some necessary brutality. And of course, Wonder Woman is a cool addition to the superhero. She is a bad-ass and when she finally made her entrance on screen, it ranks up there as one of the top moments of the film. Personally, I wished she had a bigger role in the film, but I guess it was the right move in a movie where Batman and Superman are the headliners. Batman wise, the action is good and the actual FIGHT between Batman and Superman is literally the best fight of the movie but Superman wise, he seems to be "missing in action." Director Zack Synder showcases the results of Superman's endeavors rather than the exact act but I will give him credit for one scene in the movie that involves Superman. That one scene is, without a doubt, better than the whole Man of Steel movie in total. 

Now in terms of things I dislike however, the main thing I ABSOLUTELY HATE was Jesse Eisenberg's portrayal of villain, Lex Luthor. He is literally the JAR JAR BINKS of the film. His motivations for causing the fight between Batman and Superman sucks and his dialogue ultimately sounds like gibberish and makes no sense to the audience. Rather than menacing, he only came off a annoying. Also, the run-time of this movie hurts the pacing rather than helps it. The film is two and a half hours long. and with that, the movie is filled with more talking than action. Plus, there are quite a few plot-holes in this film that I can't go into because then, I would be diving into "spoiler territory." 

If you want to go watch this movie, go ahead, don't let me or this review stop you, but just know, it's not the best movie, but it's still miles better than "Fantastic Four." If you can bare a somewhat mediocre story and some weird Zack Synder-ish scenes, then check it out. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice gets a 3.5 out of 5.

  

J-Bang Reviews Present: 10 Cloverfield Lane

Mystery. Suspense. Secrets! "10 Cloverfield Lane" came out of no where and has suddenly made its way into theaters. I will tell you one thing. In a movie full of twists, turns, and jump-scares, my biggest mistake was seeing it in IMAX, because by the time this movie was over, I could of sworn I had 6 heart attacks!

After she was involved in a car accident, Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) wakes up in a bomb bunker, and is held captive by a mysterious, unstable man named Howard ( John Goodman). Howard tells her the world isn't the same as it was when she was knocked out in the car accident, and despite her pleads, refuses to let her go. So Michelle must figure out what the truth of the world's fate really is while being held against her will in a bunker with Howard and fellow captive, Emmett (John Gallagher, Jr.) The story cleverly unfolds as a thriller with horror movie tropes. And what makes this movie intriguing is that we (the audience) are figuring out the story just as the main characters are. Plus, when the movie dynamic changes from one genre to the next, the tone stays the same rather than changes, which is a service to how this movie aimed to make me feel uncomfortable.

If I had to describe this movie without spoiling anything, I would call it a psychological horror film. The only thing I would count as a sin though is that, for me, personally, the main twist did not surprise me, considering I saw the first "Cloverfield" movie. It may shock you, but for me, I knew that certain "aspect" would occur. I wish I could go into more gory details, but you're just gonna have to see for yourself. "10 Cloverfield Lane" is the twilight zone mixed with old classic terror sci-fi of the 50s that is guaranteed to leave you "literally" on the edge of your seat. 

"10 Cloverfield Lane" gets a score of 3.5 out of 5.

J-Bang Reviews Present: Deadpool

The Rated R Superstar Deadpool has finally hit the big screen and he is literally bringing the Chimi-Fucking-Changas with him! It's rare in this cinematic golden age of Superhero movies that we are given a comic book film with an " R- Rating." But this one, this movie serves it's "R- Rating" well while simultaneously serving as a satirical twist on the superhero genre itself.

When Wade Wilson, former soldier and currently bad shit crazy dude, is diagnosed with cancer, he searches for a cure, only to end up super powered and disfigured by the man who said he would "cure him." This leads Wade on a vengeful journey to find the man who fucked up his life. Ryan Reynolds steals the show as the role he was born to play (Deadpool) and is surrounded by a strong, humorous cast of colorful characters. Yes, Deadpool is funny, but one thing that caught me off-guard was how compellingly romantic it was. Throughout all the murders and quips, Deadpool is motivated not by vengeance, but with the need to save his girlfriend, Vanessa (played by Firefly's Morena Baccarin). Deadpool wants to be with Vanessa, but fears that she will reject him because of disfigurement. Deadpool hides from her throughout this endeavor until justice calls for her rescuing. That is when shit gets real! "Deadpool" is more than a superhero film, it's pretty much a "Rated-R Rom Com."

Another element of "Deadpool" that makes this movie fun is how connected it is to the "X-Men movie-verse" as well as to the superhero movie-verse. There are numerous easter-eggs that connect to characters like Wolverine and Professor X, and cameos that extend to Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Yep, you read that right). There are even references to Ryan Reynold's previous role as DC's the "Green Lantern" and "old Deadpool" from "X-Men Origins: Wolverine." These references range from sly to obvious and make for hilarious jokes.

If I had to fault the film for something though, I would say it would have to be the heavy exposition on the flashbacks. The flashbacks were cool and all, don't get me wrong, but it felt like some moments lasted longer than they needed to. The flip side of that though is I did like how the flashbacks were introduced right in the middle of a scene just like "Out of nowhere!" But anyway, "Deadpool" is good! Go watch it! It's a fun superhero movie that mocks itself as well as the superhero genre. "Deadpool" gets a 4 out 5!

J-Bang Reviews Presents: The Revenant

"Revenge is not in my hands. It's in God's hands." "The Revenant" is visually stunning and is an expertly filmed piece of cinema. While it is impressive in style, it is also compelling in substance. "The Revenant" follows Hugh Glass, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, and his journey of survival after being attacked by a bear. Once he sustains life-threatening injuries, his group of men decide to live him behind but not before traitor, John Fitzgerald, played by Tom Hardy, kills his son right in front of him. This motivates Glass to trek through blizzards and rivers alone and in pain so that he might find Fitzgerald and kill him for what he has done.

If I had to describe "The Revenant" in one word, that word would be intense! The cinematography is used to capture the vast emptiness and overwhelming beauty of the wilderness. And when the action started to ramp up, "The Revenant" uses natural light and "really close" close-up shots to make everything feel more intimate. It is as if the audience is going through that traumatic experience along with Leonardo DiCaprio. 

Besides the surprising brutal opening battle and the traumatic bear attack scene, "The Revenant" is supplied with a very skilled cast of characters. Tom Hardy portrays John Fitzgerald as a rotten racist coward who only cares about his payment and his own survival. Domhnall Gleeson is Andrew Henry, the Doctor of the group of hunters that who reluctantly left Glass for dead, as well as apparently the only authority their town. And what can I say about Leonardo DiCaprio?! If his portrayal of Glass hasn't proved himself "Oscar Winner worthy" yet, I don't know what will?! 

"The Revenant" is a trippy, yet convincing tale of using revenge as motivation to survive. It is beautiful to watch as well as intense to experience. Leaving the theater, "The Revenant" had me feeling all sorts of vengeful for no particular reason. Which is a good thing, because after I saw "Mad Max: Fury Road," I had a strange, unstoppable urge to go Go-Kart racing. Anyway, "The Revenant" gets a J-Bangin score of 4.7 out of 5.